Say thank you

Why is it so hard to hear something nice from other people?  Why is it so hard to believe others see value in our energy, our smile, our good deeds?  Why is it so much easier to believe criticism than it is to accept a compliment?  

First, if someone says something nice about you to you, say thank you.  Smile.  Appreciate their thoughtfulness.  AND STOP THERE.  Just because someone said something nice to you does not mean that A) they are lying, B) they want something from you, or C) you owe them a compliment back.  You also don't need to argue with them. They see you, they see that lovely thing you did and are.  They commented on it.  Say thank you.

Often, when someone says something nice to us, compliments us on something, they are giving us a gift.  Imagine, if someone were really giving you an actual physical gift; would you refuse it?  Would you argue with them about it?  No, of course not.  Accept that the gesture is intended to be a brief gesture, and not intended to be turned into a bartering tool or a heated exchange.  

I've said it before: We are absolutely our harshest critics.  One of our worst skills is accepting someone's kind words.  Maybe the first step should be to take some time to reflect on what is going on: is our self-esteem struggling?  Are you having a negative cycle of self-image?  Do we need to spend more time considering our value and good qualities?  I know that sounds hokey, but this is all work you can do for yourself by yourself and to yourself.  No need to have out-loud running commentary.  Believe good things about yourself.  Accept the genuine gesture as it is intended from your complementer.  Remember, you may be your harshest critic, but others see you through very different lenses.  

Or.  You can also try passing on the good feelings, and find someone else to compliment.  Give another person the same gift of a good feeling that you got when you received your kind words.  One good turn and all that.

Here. 

I'll start:  You, dear reader, are a beautiful person.  I'm so so glad you're here.  

Smile.  Say thank you.  And, if you feel motivated to do so and genuinely feel it, pass it on.