Dear boys,
It’s back to school letter time.
Our last year in this place we've called home for longer than any other place ... how weird is that?! O finishing middle school, A graduating, L in his second year at college ... much the same, much different and really looking forward to where in the world the Browns will be next.
L, you found your pace and people at uni, and the conveniences that come with being stateside. We are proud of your effort and know that you will keep doing what needs to be done, and can be proud of what you are bringing to the table. College is not about grades. No one cares what grades you got in college. College is about exploring. Just try stuff.
A, this is the second year of the DP, and I know this work load is considerable. I also know that you will stay on top of it. Sure, we're looking ahead, you're considering your options for university, but I appreciate how much you are also paying attention to where you are now, and who you are with, knowing what and who are important.
O, last year of middle school, last year of knowing all the people and now, the workload is real. I know, it's going to take a lot of organization. I am 100% certain you've got this.
As is always the case, I think going back to school is not exactly a bonus, but it will be good to reconnect with friends you haven’t seen for a while, and meet new kids. What fun it will be to tell them all about your summer, your adventures! So much and so little has changed.
On that change, it can feel hard and complicated. It can feel overwhelming and challenging. And embrace that with curiosity, and kindness. Not just for others -- but that, too, yes -- but for yourself. My dear boys, this year is going to be an adventure.
A couple thoughts. Even if you don't want to hear them know, save these because they are helpful nuggets.
1. This is going to be a year of change and challenge. Thinking about what might be (which uni to apply to, which exchange program might be a good fit, which country should we bid on...); please try to stay curious. Curiosity is the key to staying invested. Putting energy in finding more about a new idea or perspective can help you open doors. Say "I don't know" and then find out more, and repeat this practice every single day.
2. Offer yourself compassion. Keep your self talk encouraging and be your best champion. In the face of so many changes, it can be easy to fall into frustration because things don't flow as well as they did before. Consider how you might offer support to a friend going through the same sort of circumstances and give that same loving care to yourself. You are not too late. You didn't miss anything. Some days will be amazing, and some will be difficult. You will do it well sometimes and you will mess up sometimes. Be kind to yourself because as long as you keep trying, keep doing, keep going, you are doing enough.
3. You have no obligation to like everyone. You own everyone a second chance. You ou have no obligation to like everyone, and you are free to intensely dislike a person. But you owe everyone—even those you dislike—basic respect. You also owe everyone a second change, but not a third.
4. Fail fast. Fail often. Fail forward. Failing is not a disgrace if you keep failing better. When you find yourself procrastinating, don’t resist. Instead lean into it. Procrastinate 100%. Try to do absolutely nothing for 5 minutes. Make it your job. You’ll fail. After 5 minutes, you’ll be ready and eager to work. Remember that when you are right, you are learning nothing. When you are wrong, and learn, then you will grow. Also, do not cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
5. When you are stuck or overwhelmed, focus on the smallest possible thing that moves your project forward. The more persistent you are, the more chances you get to be lucky.
6. When you try to accomplish something difficult, surround yourself with friends. Discover people whom you love doing “nothing” with, and do nothing with them on a regular basis. The longer you can maintain those relationships, the longer you will live. The cheapest therapy is to spend time with people who make you laugh.
7. Speak up. What you say is important. What you know is relevant.
8. Tell the truth even if it is hard and even if it is not what others want to hear.
9. There should be at least one thing in your life you enjoy doing despite being no good at it. Do this one thing, regardless of your skill and aptitude, for the pure enjoyment of doing it. Do this one thing, and do not apologize for not doing it well for the pure joy it brings you.
10. When you hug someone, be the last to let go.
One last thing: we are safer together. We humans are meant to be in communities. Stick together. Invest in relationships because people are more important than devices. Every.single.time.
This next year is going to be full of change. I mean, what year isn't but moving to a new country always amplifies those feelings of stress and angst. It's ok to say it's hard. It's okay to not have a solution. We are in this together.
It’s a privilege to be here, a privilege to be present. The farther you venture from our own little corner in this world, the more you may feel as though you are on your own; know that I always have your back. I am here, even if we are not on the same landmass.
I love you all, with all of my heart, more than you will ever know.
Mom
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