Assumptions and Mind Reading

You just had a disagreement with your person.  This is a great time to remind yourself of something important:  Remind yourself that your partner cannot read your mind. Even after years of being together, they can know your story well, they can understand your triggers and support your goals, but they cannot know the intricate and complex movement of your thoughts. 

Here's the thing about not being able to read minds: without knowing all of the answers, your mind starts making assumptions.

The mind does not like unknowns so it will rapidly try to fill in the blanks. Even when it comes to your relationship, it will be quick to make assumptions. This pattern is so deeply ingrained in the mind that it will jump to making assumptions even when these assumptions are based on scarce and unverifiable pieces of information. Especially if fear is an emotion that your mind runs to often, it will create negative assumptions that have no basis in reality. The mind can make you see threats and challenges where there are none. It can make you question your partner’s intentions or even the love they have for you.

Assumptions are treacherous territory; they can create a rift between you and your partner and make you both feel like you can’t trust the other. They can write a story on the wall that doesn't consider all sides of the situation. The only way to close this gap between you is with truthful communication. If you are the one jumping to conclusions, slow down. Instead of assuming, ask.

So.  Reminder # 2: Repeat after me: Person who I love so much (insert name here), I made some assumptions.  I want to clear the air. When we've had a moment, and taken a breath, can we talk this through and get to the bottom of our misunderstanding?