Anti-resolution

So.  How is that New Year's resolution coming along? 

I have to tell you, I am not a fan of the new year overhaul.  How often do we look back, say, mid-year and see what we didn't finish, what habits we didn't break, or the person we failed to become, only to have to face the prospect of fixing ourselves yet again come January?  

Here's the thing I don't really like about resolutions: they are all-or-nothing.  You either succeed in change or you fail, very binary.  Heavily reliant on force and control to produce outcome-driven change ... studies show that resolutions don't actually work very well.  They often leave us feeling not quite good enough, not dedicated enough, or, worst, total failures.  Why would I do that to myself?

Often, we dream up  our myriad things we want to change about ourselves, and we decide, I'm going to do this, and that it will be enough.  By resolving to do it, we will succeed.  If we fail, well then, we are not able to better ourselves, we are incapable of many things, but especially change.  Ask yourself this: are you not good enough as you are?  Why are you trying to be someone who you are not?

Being yourself -- and accepting who that is -- is much better.  Perhaps what we can consider is being yourself AND consider your processes.  A resolution chases outcomes; a ritual focuses on process.  Process offers the chance to be kind to yourself and ease into a new pattern.  Rituals create atmosphere, rhythm and scaffolding.  Rituals do not offer impressive numbers or measurements, and they do not demand overnight transformations.  Rituals only ask that we show up, that we return day and time again.  A ritual is not a deadline insisting on transformation, but a means of staying in motion, keeping balance.  

Perhaps a consideration to embrace a ritual, and show up again and again toward the person you can be becoming.  A thought.