Strength as a Mother
“Not wanting to be dominated by others is a legacy of the new mother because in becoming a mother a woman also gives birth to herself. When a mother thinks about her experience in a truthful way, when she is honest with herself, she will see that the act of mothering is not one-sided. It is reciprocal. Once we appreciate that the mother/child dyad is mutually beneficial, we can change the stereotype of motherhood as burden into the archetype of mothering as transformation.
Mothering is not just something we do for our children. It defines us. And, it also liberates us. When we mother in a creative and transformative way we can easily move between our role as mother and our other roles. When being a mother comes from our strengths and our good opinion of ourselves rather than from an imposed script, we embody a powerful and unique feminine presence.”
~ Peggy O’Mara
Before I get rolling, you should know that I am going to use the word ‘amazing’ a lot. Yes, I could have used my thesaurus and come up with plenty of other adjectives, but sometimes, I truly believe that the one word is by far the best descriptor. So, onward.
Listen, my friends, you know what? You are an amazing mom. (And yes, I know some of you might be dads. Sorry, this is not about you. But read on if you want to have something to tell your wife that will make her REALLY happy.) Moms, you are amazing people. I truly believe that the outstanding things that moms accomplish each and every day should amaze all others around them. Not only do they get little people cleaned, fed, clothed and out the door in a safe manner, they also get them distances big and small to particular places and appointments regularly. They feed, clean and clothe other adults, too, and make the time to organize lists and purchase supplies to accomplish all of these tasks. Moms are articulate, knowledgeable, and capable people. Moms are organized. Moms can manage tasks for themselves and for any number of other people. Moms do all of this without much gratitude or appreciation of their accomplishments. Okay, yes, there is that one day to celebrate moms everywhere, but what’s one day when we do all of the above every single day, regardless if it is a holiday, weekday or weekend.
You know what, moms? You deserve recognition of accomplishing the most amazing thing a person can do: you created another person(s). That, in and of itself, is amazing. Not only did you create this person, but every day, you give that person intellectual stimulation, physical motivation, and nutrition to grow up and blossom into another amazing person.
Once we become a mom, we change, too. We develop a loving responsibility and learn the often-overwhelming job of taking care of another being. We do this without any formal training or schooling. It’s just something we KNOW how to do, and what we don’t know, we learn. We learn from our mistakes and we use our instincts. We tend, and we grow ourselves. Through mothering, we develop of the skills we inherently will need. Through mothering, we fine-tune our strengths and curiosities. No one else can do the job that we do, and no one could possibly do it as well.
Being reminded of our importance and strengths is important. We don’t need a ‘thank you’ so much as acknowledgement of our gifts to others. Knowing that someone is aware of what we have to offer is a soul-building gift.
Thank you, moms, for mothering. Thank you, moms, for tending. Thank you, moms, for using your strengths to help another person(s) grow. Your effort may not be noted, and it may not be thanked, but I promise you, it is well received.