Ticking time bomb?

Teens and tech and all the things

It’s hard to know, isn’t it, just how big of a social experiment we are setting up our teenagers for with this whole social media + smartphones + constant digital immersion situation, amiright?  Is this the time bomb sensationalists are declaring it to be?  Is it a passing fad?  If only we could know.

It would be amazing to have a clear-cut answer to the question of plummeting mental health and teenagers.  The water is murky, at best, and honestly just brings up more questions than answers.  How can one thing be both good and bad at the same time?  Take for example, the positive impact social media has for confidence levels in teenage girls, who benefit from the increasing number of social connections they can make across social media platforms; at the same time, the more vulnerable of these same girls display more and more behaviors associated with eating disorders.  How do we know who is vulnerable?  We can’t just assume that label applies to everyone. 

While some studies have shown a direct link between social media use and poor mental health, most larger-scale studies have found only small or inconclusive effects.  This might be one of those chicken-egg situations: is it, for example, teenagers who struggle with self-control and mood who are most drawn to social media or is it that social media causes poor impulse control and depression.  The direct link is not completely clear.   

There are other things that are clear, though.  If we assume smart phones and social media are the root cause for teens’ angst and struggles, then we ignore the other possible (and very very strong) players in the room: academic pressure, family conflict and diminished or minimal family time, and now global and political unrest and climate change.  These last three may seem like far-fetched sources of stress, but all these factors interplay and overlay with one another wreaking havoc on what used to be a slow slide into maturation and adulthood.  At the same time that we are opening these savvy young people’s minds and eyes to the world of information and world events, we are also giving them access to information that they may not quite be ready for at an ever-younger age.  Additionally, not considering social context and brain development, especially in the parts of the brain associated with social connections and abilities is not giving teens sufficient credit for coming to their own informed conclusions and thought processes (rather than only acting as a direct result of social media influence).

And, this will come as no surprise: teens of today are just like every other teen in that they are developmentally primed to resist any and all attempts from adults to restrict access to that expanded agency.

Final conclusion?  My goodness, is there one?

Proceed with caution.  Maybe. Without putting our kids in a bubble, we can’t lock them away from the lure of the device or their friends.  This is a pandora that is not going to get back in that box.

In person connections with caring people is 100% better than time spent online. The more time your teen spends online the less time they are spending with other people face-to-face. Having conversations with you about what they see online, the reality of the content, the applications and ramifications of it ... this gets them thinking. This is an excellent place to start from for valuable conversations. What is online, what they see in social media, what they experience from their online interactions is not real. Real people are real.

Listen, this might be an out-there thing to say, but I don’t think it should be our goal for completely understanding between generations.  I think the way young people and growing, developing and learning, is shaping them to be a generation that does not necessarily align with the norms of previous generations.  Is that a bad thing?  How can we say that, when we experienced the same sort of misalignment with our parents’ generation.  This planet is going to be theirs, right, so they should have a say in what they find important, and how things can function.  Why don’t we adults, instead, provide optimal opportunities for your people to engage, and grow and develop into socially engaged individuals.  Why don’t we stay engaged, too, and contribute to the conversation instead of trying to keep directing it?  We can certainly be guides in this process; young people still find the opinions of their parents very important.   

What to do?  If you take away nothing else, hear this: connection and communication with your teen should be prioritized over controlling their access to technology.  In my opinion prioritizing your relationship with your teen is the best way to “save” them from the big bad social media wolf.  So. Put down your own phone, go and engage in a meaningful conversation with your kids. You never know, you might learn something. At the very least, you will be a good example by putting your own device down, and engaging with real, intelligent humans ... you should know, you raised them.