Paradox

Life is, of course, complicated. People are complicated. Parenting is complicated. Children are infinitely complicated. Marriage, relationships ... complicated.

Why? Because nothing is a straight line, black and white, even though that would definitely make things a lot less complicated. How do we consider those shades of grey? There is logic in it.

I read this recently and it sticks with me.

Consider some of life's most complicated paradoxes

The Growth Paradox

Growth takes a much longer time than you think, but then happens much faster than you ever thought possible. Growth is hard to capture; how do you even know when you've achieved it?

Growth happens gradually, then suddenly. Slowly, then all at once. The best things in life come from allowing compounding to work its magic.

The Persuasion Paradox

Have you ever noticed that the most argumentative people rarely persuade anyone of anything? Persuasive people don't argue—they observe, listen, and ask thoughtful questions. Argue less, persuade more.

Persuasion is an art that requires a paintbrush, not a sledgehammer.

The Productivity Paradox

Work longer, get less done.

Parkinson's Law says that work expands to fill the time allotted for its completion. When you establish fixed hours to your work, you find unproductive ways to fill it.

Work like a lion instead—sprint, rest, repeat.

The Talking Paradox

"We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak." ~ Epictetus

Much like the Productivity Paradox, talk less to say more. If you want your words and ideas to be heard, start by talking less and listening more. You'll find more power in your words. You'll be able to see which words land best.

The Fear Paradox

The thing you fear the most is often the thing you most need to do. Fears, when avoided, become limiters on our progress. The most successful people in the world have all made a habit of running towards the thing the scares them, finding motivation in that intimidation and fear. Make a habit of getting closer to your fears—treat them as magnets for your energy and you'll find growth on the other side.

The Intelligence Paradox

Intelligence can lead to stupidity. Highly intelligent people are more likely to fall victim to stupidity by convincing themselves they are smarter than the system. They create complexity instead of doing the easy thing that works.

Never outsmart yourself.

The Advice Paradox

Harsh Truth: Most advice is well-intentioned, but it can be dangerous to use someone else's map of reality to navigate yours. Taking more advice can leave you less well-prepared. Winners develop filters and selectively implement advice. The trick is to figure out what is sound and what is simply noise.

The Effort Paradox

Effortless, elegant performances are simply the result of a large volume of effortful, gritty long practice. You have to put in more effort to make something appear effortless.

The Wisdom Paradox

"The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know." ~ Albert Einstein

The more you learn, the more you are exposed to the immense unknown. This should be empowering, not frightening.

Embrace your own ignorance. Embrace lifelong learning.

The Opportunity Paradox

Take on less to accomplish more.

Success does not come from taking on everything that comes your way. It comes from focus—deep focus on the projects that really matter.

Say yes to what matters, say no to everything else.

The Boredom Paradox

The most creative, captivating ideas stem directly from periods of intense boredom.

You are bored, your mind wanders, your thoughts mingle—creative insight strikes.

Boredom sparks creativity. Allow yourself the luxury of boredom.

The Social Media Paradox

More connectedness, less connected. Social media has created more connectedness than ever before, but we feel less connected to those around us.

Schedule time to disconnect and you will feel more connection.

The Failure Paradox

You have to fail more to succeed more. Our transformative moments of growth often stem directly from our toughest moments of failure. This is the power of "yet" and learning from mistakes.

Don't fear failure—learn to fail smart and fast. Never fail the same way twice.

The Speed Paradox

You have to slow down to speed up.

Slowing down allows you to restore your energy, notice things you previously missed, be more deliberate with your actions, and focus on the highest leverage opportunities. Hastiness is not a path towards successes.

The Looking Paradox

Stop looking in order to find what you are looking for.

Ever notice that when you are looking for something, you rarely find it? Stop looking—what you are looking for may find you. Applies equally to love, business, happiness, and life.

The Icarus Paradox

Icarus crafted wings and took off in flight. He became emboldened by his success and flew too close to the sun, which melted the wings and sent Icarus falling to his death.

One can achieve success with one thing, but overconfidence can sow the seeds of your downfall.

The Shrinking Paradox

You may need to shrink before you can grow. Growth is never constant and linear. Subtraction may feel like a step back, but it's a necessity for long-term growth.

One step back, two steps forward is a recipe for consistent, long-term success.

The Money Paradox

You have to lose money to make money. Every successful investor and builder has stories of the invaluable lessons learned from a terrible loss in their career.

Sometimes you have to pay to learn.

The News Paradox

The more news you consume, the less well-informed you become. Nassim Taleb's "noise bottleneck" concept suggests that more data leads to a higher ratio of noise-to-signal, so by consuming more, you end up knowing less about what is actually going on.

Want to know more about the world? Turn off the news and go spend time in it.

The Death Paradox

You have to know your death to truly live your life.

By accepting our time as finite, we are able to appreciate its precious nature.

20 paradoxes.

Embrace the chaos and complexity.