Susie Csorsz Brown
May is for Mothers
Continuing on the monthly themes, during May we are going to focus on Mothers. First, celebrating all that you are, you amazing Moms, and then a look at accepting that you are 100% 'good enough' and the wealth of good you bring to your family and to your kids.
“A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of cake and five people, promptly announces she never did care for cake.” ~ Tenneva Jordan
Mothering is quite possibly the best role I’ve ever held, and also one of
the most challenging. Though, I’m not completely sure past tense of the word ‘held’ is appropriate, really, as mothering is just one long continuous string of reactions and counter-actions; it is seemingly never going to be ‘done’. Before you have kids of your own, before you are wholly responsible for another living being (or two or more), it is hard to believe just how complicated parenting – mothering – can be. It is hard to believe what is encompassed in all that it is to be a mom, to be THAT person to another person, to be the one they come to with owies, or with dreams, or with their every treasure. It is hard to imagine how important another person can be, to think of them as soon as your eyes begin to open in the morning, and also just as you are drifting off to sleep. People will tell you all of this before you have kids, but it is not something that rings true (or sound even remotely possible) until you have children of your own. Being a mom is an amazing gift.
Being a mom means wearing a lot of different hats, each of which deserves applause on this very special day. So, here’s to you, my fellow moms! You are amazing!
“Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.” ~ Cheryl Lacey Donovan
M - is for every single moment you spend WITH your kids, and ABOUT your kids. You think about them even when they are not with you, you show off their pics on Facebook and on your phone, and you talk (perhaps incessantly) about them and their latest antics/efforts/comments/ailments. You are proud of what they accomplish, and openly admire their skill when they create, when they bloom. Your moments become more about them than about you, and it’s a fair trade. Their accomplishments become your own, and it is fair, seeing as how you’ve contributed everything in you to their up-bringing.
“Mothers are like glue. Even when you can’t see them, they’re still holding the family together.” ~ Susan Gale
O - is for others. Without losing sight of yourself, you put others’ needs ahead of your own. Your focus on their welfare and betterment is important to you. Even the little things you do for others like who gets to use the last two squares of toilet paper in the shopping center bathroom (them, and it’s okay because you have a tissue that is mostly clean in your bag, and you’ve already mastered the sit-but-don’t-touch-anything skill) or the geometry homework help you give instead of sitting down and reading your own book; it’s about others. Besides, you know you’ll get your own time after bedtime, or before they get up.
“Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary – it’s an act of infinite optimism.” ~ Gilda Radner
T - is for taking care. Care of others, sure, but also taking care with your words, your gestures and your interactions with each member of your family. You discover that words are important, and that your tone can mean everything. You know that each member of your family needs different words, and different tones. You tend to their food needs with nutritious meals and snacks. You tend to their emotional needs with hugs and kisses and affirmation. You tend to their mental needs with stimulating games, conversations and thought-provoking interactions. You tend to their physical needs with creative ball drills, movement games, biking races, and long family walks. You nurture, you take care, and you are there when they need you… and when they say they don’t, you are there, too, in the background, just in case.
“Motherhood is the exquisite inconvenience of being another person’s everything.” ~ Unknown
H - is for hugs and the myriad of other ways you give your kids the physical interactions that let them know how much they mean to you. Be it a kiss on an owie or a brush of a hand over their head, every little touch counts and adds up to equal the physical contact that every child craves. Hugging your kids – especially for those who really crave physical touch – gives them nonverbal affirmation of how much you love them. Kids that know that their parents love them fully and without reservation tend to be well-adjusted and socially adept themselves, and tend to grow into thoughtful and conscientious community members. So not only are you giving your kids the love that they crave and deserve, you are also helping rear an emotionally- and socially-well-adjusted future adult who will be a contributing member of society (and, in turn, will give back, like he sees you doing, because he learns from your every action).
“A mother’s hug lasts long after she lets go.” ~ Unknown
E - is for energy that you give to your kids from the moment you get up (which is often well before they even start the pre-wake-up twitches) all the way through the day and until their eyelids finally – finally! – droop shut (and then you have your Me-time to get things done). You fuel yourself to keep up with them and help motivate them toward what they want to accomplish and see each day. Giving them your energy to create, to step out, to try something new because they know you will be there for them if need be. Stepping back and letting them be the ones doing, but there for support when they turn around the check. Your quiet and unfailing support and energy are the extra ounce of motivation that can help push them to try that one last thing that ends up being exactly what they needed to reach their goal.
“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had.” ~ Linda Wooten
R - is for recipe: every action, every interaction comes together for an amazing and individual recipe that you are creating for each one of your kids. We all have our own special ingredients that we put in, so it is unique to you and your child. Our kids know that their mom’s recipe is the best and appreciate it. They may not tell you every day, but they know.
“A mother understands what a child does not say.” ~ Jewish proverb
You know what, moms? You deserve recognition of accomplishing the most amazing thing a person can do: you created another person(s). That, in and of itself, is amazing. Not only did you create this person, but every day, you give that person intellectual stimulation, physical motivation, and nutrition to grow up and blossom into another amazing person.
Enjoy your day on Sunday, the day dedicated to moms and take a few minutes to appreciate what an amazing, unique and clever mom you are. Your family is lucky to have you.
Happy Mother’s Day!