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  • Writer's pictureSusie Csorsz Brown

Judge Not

If I were to ask you if you judge others, bet you'd say you never do. But think about it: How hard is it to sit in a space with other people and not think about what they are doing, what you might do differently, what they are doing that you might consider 'right' or 'wrong.' How hard is it to just note what they are doing and let it pass you by? Because, after all, what they are doing has nothing to do with you, right? It doesn't impact you one way or another and your opinion of their actions does not help or hinder their progresssion. So why judge? Probably because you're human and it's hard not to. Does it really matter? We judge everything about those we are surrounded by: clothing, hair, piercings, speech patterns, weight, social interactions, food choices, parenting, family make-up, reading selections, ... and on and on. Does it really matter? Ask yourself this: does it make you happy to judge someone else? Does it make you feel superior or as though you have won something? Do you progress anywhere by having an opinion - good or bad - on another? Does it really matter? An opinion is just that, an opinion. A thought or a notion about a particular matter. It's not an action or a requirement. Opinions are just that, a person's thoughts or reactions to something. They are not necessarily based on fact, prior knowledge or experience. You don't have to have any proof or evidence to back up your opinion, and no one actually needs to agree with you. You can be completely alone in your opinion and that is okay. But that also does not mean that if others have a differing opinion that they are incorrect. They, just as you, have the right to their own opinion. And it doesn't really matter. I'll tell you what DOES matter: focus on doing what you do/say/think and making it the best it can be. And, perhaps more importantly: don't worry about what others might think about it. Because what they think does not really matter. Don't base your actions, thoughts or reactions on what others think; do what you know is right. Do what you know is best. If you are a parent, think about your family unit, and do what is best for them. People outside your unit do not matter. Don't worry if others don't like your decisions or actions. Don't worry if others have negative reactions or opinions. I know it's hard, though, not to let it matter. It's especially hard when it's your family or someone you care about that is judging you. Or it's someone you'd like to impress. I know. But you want to know something? They probably are just as worried about what you might be thinking of them. So... just don't. Let it roll off your back, focus on you and yours. Don't judge others; don't worry about them judging you. Focus on what is important, on what matters, and that does not include your neighbor's opinion on how loud your kids are in the yard. 

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