When counting our blessings and things to be grateful for, at the top of the list of most people is family. We love those we love; we hold them dear. We work fiercely to keep them safe and well. Sometimes, though, these are the very people that drive us the most insane. Confession time: There are moments when my kids drive me bananas. Like certifiable, up-the-wall crazy. There are no three people more skilled at finding and pushing my buttons, except perhaps their dad.

Missing family members

I think, especially on random days, it's a good thing to be grateful for what we have, what we are, and what we are continuing to be. Dear Hubby, Oh the places we've gone! What a run, eh? So many good moments, so many happy ones. Sure, some moments have been less than shiny and stellar, but ... that's how it goes when two unique people come together, committed to making a new unit. As we are not carbon copies of each other, quirks abound, patiences get tested and compromis

(aka 10 things I am so very happy that my kids have learned from us during these years overseas) Life stuff 1. Good toilet paper is a good, no, a necessary thing. There is no point at all ever that 1-ply toilet paper is appropriate. Nor should toilet paper be colored. White. 2-ply. Period. I've tried, honestly we have but we just can't do the local stuff. Okay, I admit: I can't do the local stuff. I am a toilet paper snob. The same can also be said (but perhaps not q

Although we've certainly watched enough super hero movies to know the qualities needed, I've always been aware of the fact that we are not, in fact, immortal. Death and taxes, the two inevitables, right? But one also does not like to think of their parents dying. When we hear of other families going through this, naturally our hearts go out to them, and we feel great sympathy. A parent dying is a huge role reversal, no matter one's age. I mean, this is YOUR PARENT, one of

It happened again. Young people – kids, really – were at the place of their dreams: a concert by a favorite singer. Kids dancing, singing, having a great time. Just free, enjoying music, enjoying company, enjoying life of a young person. And then a monster came and stomped all over that beautiful scene. Instead of a place of music, the concert became a place for these young people to die. What makes a person do that? What series of events must happen in order for a perso

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can se

My dearest boys, So excited! School is starting tomorrow! This is your big day! I know you’re not excited for classes to start so much as you are to see your friends. What fun it will be to tell them all about your summer, your adventures, and your triumphs! So much and so little has changed. I look at you three and get a knot in my throat: look at how much you’ve grown and changed over this summer break! Time is flying by. And, most importantly, after all of this forc

Sometimes, some of the hardest moments in parenting come when we ourselves – those who are supposed to be in the know – are floundering. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to keep our own head afloat while we care for and support our little people. Sure, sure, we are supposed to put on our own proverbial life jackets before we assist others, but parental instinct will have you reaching for your kids when you see them struggling, even at a cost to your own well-being. A t

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can se

A repost. I think a well-timed one. As I wrote to my friend, how did we get to this point where killing people was a way to make a point? wtf?! I grieve for the loss of life, and the loss of a more innocent time that my children will never know. This is a rant. You can skip if you want. I can’t sit idle when I have all of these thoughts flying around in my head. … "limits are for those who lack imagination and determination." …. Terrorists want to crush peoples' dreams; t

I was reading back through some of my earlier blog post. One caught my eye and stuck in my mind. I was writing about our different families: those that we are born with, and then those that we choose for ourselves. Beyond our spouses and our children, we also choose our families with the friendships we make. Especially overseas, where we often live across oceans from our biological families, it is vital to create a support system for ourselves. These are the people we tu

The boys vs girls discussion could go on ad nauseam. I don’t know that much about raising girls, other than what I experienced growing up with two sisters. There did seem to be a lot of drama, though. Now, raising boys, I’ve had some practice. What I have learned about parenting, though, is that when young, they are very very different animals. Here’s what I’ve noticed about boys: Sticks. If we kept every stick my boys have found, we would be able to build ourselves a

Have you ever heard the sound of true angst? I believe it sounds just like an unwilling child about to be dropped off at school, crying his little eyes out, sobbing and begging his mom to please oh please don’t make him stay. Absolutely, heart-breaking. Want to know one of the hardest moments in parenting? Being strong enough to gently-but-firmly kiss that very same sobbing child goodbye, entrust him to the teachers, and walk out the door. There are few harder moments in

One of the most foreign part of Foreign Service life for our families back home is the 4+ weeks of vacation we all get each year. This is NOT the norm for a typical American family. Most families have 'normal' vacations : a week somewhere 'exotic' (Disneyland, here we come!), with a lot of hours in a car, and sand of some sort. Our weeks-on-end of time away from work responsibilies (mostly. Darn Blackberries, anyway) is a hard concept to grasp. In the same light, it's odd

I believe we have two families. The first, we are born with. Or adopted into, if you like. This family is one we can’t escape, and one who forms us. We get our opinions, our reactions and our inclinations from them. This family is ours, no matter what. You don’t have to like them, but you do have to love them. They are ours to keep, like it or not. Our second family is the one we choose. This is our spouse and our friends. These people are often the ones we turn to

We can’t all walk around with smiles on our faces, sure, but can we truly BE happy? (I should add, my youngest does walk around with a smile on his face all the time, and it really is quite charming. But perhaps it might not work for all of us). Being happy – being in a place where one finds mental peace and joy, and true enjoyment – this is an art. And, luckily, it IS attainable. Please don’t think I’m calling you a grouch, friends. Not at all, but many of us go throu

We’re in the middle of an epidemic. You’ve heard it before, and I think you’ll hear it many more times: our kids are fat. Not just heavy, but obese. I’m not going to throw more statistics at you. They are out there, easy to find; google it if you’re interested. Let’s look instead at the main underlying causes: Kids are not moving as much; kids are not eating well; and kids are not spending quality time eating meals with their families, learning appropriate food-related

Sometimes, it isn't about how much you do, or how great you are, or how amazing you cook. Sometimes, it isn't about your amazing craft abilities, or the perfect hairdo you make for yourself or for the kids. Sometimes, it isn't about your coloring abilities or how much time you read to your kids. Sometimes, it is about being good enough. And that's okay. You know what I am talking about. Oh, the effort it takes to be the perfect wife/mom/sister-in-law/daughter/neighbor/PT

The quickest way to change your child’s behavior is to first change your own. If you are playing tic-tac-toe, and you go second, your odds of winning the game are 1/3. If you go first, 2/3. Why? Because as a second player, you are reacting to the game that the first person is playing; you are basically waiting for the first player to make a mistake. What, you may ask, does this have to do with parenting? Stop being the one to react; be the one to make the first move. Pla