You know that feeling you have when you have the kind of day when you’ve had an amazing workout and have all sorts of lovely endorphins flying around, and your kids are acting amazingly gracious and – dare I say it – nice, and your favorite skirt/pants/shorts fit just right, and you hit only green lights while driving? That’s a great feeling, right? Some of you may be wondering what a parent coach is. It’s a person who has several jobs, but the most important of which is to help you remember what a great parent you are. We help you recapture – and keep – that feeling from that amazing day I described before.
A coach helps you remember and develop your skills, and apply them toward being a parent and also toward being a more positive person. We aren’t going to have you skipping around, singing songs like Pollyanna, but we are going to help you focus on what matters and how great it is.
We are going to help you focus on what is important. We help you to develop a focal expression, a few sentences to really help you realize what it is you are trying to achieve. We can call this your Dream Statement or your Focal Words; these words express your goals for coaching. In essence, once you attain your ‘dream’ you will be the parent you want to be. A coach helps you reduce the debris that can clutter your efforts in parenting. Not in a literal sense; I won’t come over and help you clean out your closet. But sometimes, there are people in your life who are not the positive influence you need, or you need to learn a skill like ‘saying no’ or learning how to focus on positives rather than criticizing. Becoming a parent who can respond kindly, with acceptance and in a positive manner takes effort and work. Sometimes people can master this on their own. Sometimes it takes another person in your corner. Who needs a parent coach? Everyone. And, perhaps, no one. It’s not my job to tell you if you need a coach; it’s your job to figure out if you want it. That’s really the kicker about change: if you don’t want it, no one can force you to make it. If you are happy with you life, your parenting, then that’s so great. If you like reading blogs like mine and are getting something out of it, that’s so great, too.
Parenting is hard work. Being a parent is like being dropped into a jet cockpit – without any instructions – and being expected to fly the thing without crashing. Being a parent has no training, has no trial period, or practice time. You have to figure it out as you go, and the hardest moments are generally those when you have to respond immediately (e.g. your kid is sick in the middle of the night, you are sleep-deprived and someone has to be the better person. Or you are in the middle of the cereal aisle and your kid is on the ground in a fit-of-all-fits and you have no idea why. Or your sweet little child has morphed overnight into a belligerent, bratty back-talking butthead and, try as you might, you can’t figure out what you did to wrong her). Parenting is expensive. Parenting is frustrating. Parenting is hard work.
You know, I have three kids. Boys. Sometimes I look at them, and feel like all I want to do is rip my hair out. Sometimes, I am so grateful for my coaching training because it gives me an arsenal of tools to employ to 'find peace' and enjoy. Sometimes, though, it isn't that easy. I have my own focus words right on my fridge. Those days when all I see is red, I head straight there and read and repeat. Like I said, being a parent is frustrating. It is also the most rewarding, giving, amazing thing you'll ever do.
Yup, coaching can be expensive. Think of it as an investment in your peace of mind. You know what else is expensive? Fuel for your car. You buy petrol, right? Consider this to be fuel for your conscious. I’m not saying you need coaching. If you want it, it’s there for you.