"It’s so true how we’re always looking for infallible women heroes and how we’re so afraid when they are afraid and so despondent when the poison in the air affects them, too. How when we discover again and again that there’s really no ONE to follow—there’s no Oz behind the curtain—we feel so suddenly scared and alone and directionless. All of this is why it’s a saner policy to love people than to admire them. Admiration involves putting a person on a pedestal and since people are wobbly—pedestaled folks always end up falling down." ~Glennon Doyle Melton
Right? I mean, who doesn't want to have someone they admire? Don't we need that, need to have someone we look up to and want to emulate? On the other hand, those we are looking up to, isn't one of the reasons we might be looking up to them because they are reasonable and sure and even when they make a mistaken, they bounce back and resettle, continuing to move forward? Are we following perfection or realness? Un beau ideal or genuineness?
You know how you see those famous people and they have the chiseled abs two weeks after giving birth, and they never have panty lines, and there never exists a gray hair on their head? They speak 100% of the time in calm tones, never have broccoli wedged in their smile, and they raise their 2.4 children without breaking a sweat. You know what? Those people don't actually exist; those people are just an airbrushed, photoshopped invention of the tabloids. Even the rich and famous can't keep up with that sort of fictitious reality. So what does this mean for the 'average joe-ette'? It means it's okay to skip over those famous icons and pick someone to admire who is a little closer to home. A friend, a neighbor, your mom, the barista at your coffee shop who always has a nice word to say ... Or even several people. Because being real, and keeping life going while still smiling (most of the time), that is very admirable.
And as Glennon says above, admiring isn't necessarily necessary. No one is infallible. Even those we want to emulate have others they look up to. There is no one Wizard of Oz, who knows the answer for every person. Is it better to love someone that to admire them? Loving someone gives them a cushion, if you will. Room for error.
What does this mean to you? I think it's okay to make mistakes, and it's okay to falter. I think it's okay to have to sit one out. I think it's okay to know in your heart that you did your very best and perhaps it didn't quite reach the mark. That's okay. Want to know something amazing? There is undoubtedly someone out there who thinks you are pretty freaking awesome and wants to be just like you. Yes, probably your child is in this camp, too, but someone else, too. I know it is true, because I know you try your hardest, and do your best, and are a mostly happy and content person, and that is admirable. I know you have your flaws, and probably see most of them; I know that you'll work on them. I know you put your little people first, and that sometimes that means you time comes last. You time at midnight is still you time.
Focused what's important, friends. Focus on you, your loved ones, and your best ones. Things will change and get better or get worse. Things will move forward or falter. What matters is that you are who you are, you know what is important and you keep loved ones close even when they are far away. Remember that you, too, are someone's beau ideal. You, too, are amazing.