• Susie Csorsz Brown

No more excuses: Get out of your own way

Now is the time. Excuses stop here.

You have made a decision and this time REALLY you are going to go on a diet and lose some weight. You are going to cut out all of those bad foods, eat only healthy things. You are going to start a regular exercise program, and be more active. You are going to just get.it.done. I can't tell you how many times I have heard these very phrases, and watched people I know go through the motions, and then fall short of their goals.

Now is the time; you just said so yourself. So, what's stopping you? Honestly? You are. Excuses, dragging your feet, complaining, focusing on the challenges instead of the wins... you are getting in your own way. Why is that? Do you see: You are the one that is going to gain the most from sticking with it, and seeing your plan through. You are also the one that is going to be hit the hardest if you let excuses take the oomph out of your effort.

It is also time to stop setting yourself up for failure. How do I mean? As much as I know, that making big changes to your lifestyle can be daunting, the day-in-day-out of your routine is likely comfortable and easy, and smooth. Sure, you may think you want to change things up, and you know 100% that you should, but … change is challenging. Change is hard, and fraught with hiccups and errors and not familiar. Change is not comfortable. But when you are ready to face that challenge, you need to get your feet under you and just make it happen. Otherwise, the reasons ‘why not’ will pile up and overwhelm you.

A couple of pointers:

Know that excuses are not helping you. In order to get past this point, it is time to stop hearing the excuses that you are so good at coming up with as reasons not to make the change. Excuses are just that, excuses. Think instead of the excuses you have for why you SHOULD do it and focus on that. Excuses are really the same thing as reasons, just viewed in a different light, right? If you have to, tape these reasons all over your house. I'm serious. Bathroom mirror, by the coffee maker, near your key hook… everywhere you will see these reasons TO DO something, and it will help to reinforce your good intentions.

Redefine what 'healthy' is. Foods aren't 'bad' or 'good' in the sense that most people think. Sure, if you eat mostly potato chips and salami slices, you're not going to be hitting your weight loss goals, but a handful or two every so often isn't going to hurt anyone. Not everyone has steel-like willpower; being human means having urges and giving in every once in a while. Now, you can't give in every single time, right, but ... let's be real, there is no such thing as ‘falling off the wagon’ when it comes to eating healthy. So you ate a cheese burger AND your fries. So you had a serving if ice cream. Did you enjoy it? Okay, then. Guilt is not a motivator here, or at least not one that will help you achieve your goals. Just because you ate a food that you feel is a ‘bad’ food does not mean you should give up on the day. It’s not about every little thing you put in your mouth; it’s an over-arching improvement on what you are eating. Having a healthy diet isn't rigid; negative associations with food aren't motivators. Healthy foods are those you enjoy eating, that provide a good nutritional wallop and (key point here) that you will keep eating. If you don't like it, if the taste does not appeal to you, if the cooking method is too cumbersome, or the ingredients are too hard to find, you are not going to continue eating it. Simple. Making smart choices about what foods you want to include -- and KEEP including -- is one of the keys to success. If you learn to love 'healthy foods', you'll be less likely to 'need' cheat days.

Further, and incorporating food + emotions, know this: you are trained as a human being to associate emotions with food. I mean, think about it: doesn't every single holiday or big event circulate around food? When you get angry/happy/sad/etc, don't you have a specific food you crave? Humans get pleasure from eating. It is not a bad thing, but if you are going to deprive yourself of said food-associated-with-pleasure, you will not succeed with your nutritional plan. Why? Because it will feel like punishment to not get to enjoy your favorite food. So be sure to include it, and just moderate the amount. Or frequency.

Speaking of keeping at it, a diet should not be a temporary thing. Making the decision to permanently improve your diet is the best way to achieve success. If you see it as a temporary fix, that is all it will end up being; if you choose instead to regard your healthful nutritional choices as a way of life (yes, I know that sounds both hokey and overwhelming at the same time), it will become so. In theory, diets that are designed to help you lose weight (read: think more about the food you put in your mouth) can indeed be a springboard for a permanent diet change. But if you think of them as 'diet' in a temporary sense, you are not making the conscious decision to adopt these new food choices. They are still a band-aid, if you will, not permanent surgery. Instead, think of these new mindful food practices as a new-but-permanent diet change, slowly making changes to move towards overall healthier nutritional intake. Baby step towards embracing these changes as your new regular practice.

Speaking of eating healthy, the simplest ‘fix’ you can do to your diet is to eat more foods that are prepared by a human being, and not a corporation. By that I mean, foods that are processed, foods that are ‘fast’, foods that you can buy, nuke and eat within 2 minutes …. Those are not healthy foods. Even if they may contain that one amazing new and favorite super food somewhere in the ingredient list, processing minimizes the nutritional perks of foods. ‘Processed foods’ includes fast foods, includes peeled-ready-to-eat foods, includes pre-washed everything. I know, I know, these foods are so much easier to consume! But also know this: foods that are prepared by humans are also lower in salt, fat and sugar. A poor person eating a home-cooked diet has a much healthier intake than does a wealthy person who does not cook for themselves. So, cook more. Experiment in the kitchen. Learn to cook your favorites. Or discover new favorites. Not everything I make in the kitchen is amazing, but most are pretty darn tasty. This is what my kids are growing up enjoying; I hope I am giving them the gift of knowledge that good-for-you food is tasty, accessible, and doable.

Make sure your goals are actually achievable. Constantly feeling as though you are working really hard but can't quite achieve your overly-lofty goals is not going to give you the motivation to keep at it. In fact, it will do just the opposite, right? Bearing that in mind, do your best to make your goals achievable but challenging; something you work for and gain is a prize. Consider your health to be the ultimate prize.

Pair healthy eating with moving more for a better chance at success. If you really do want to achieve weight loss and nutrition goals, the best way to do it is to pair healthy eating with a regular exercise regimen. Do something you love, and change it up. Add weight lifting to your regular cardiovascular routine. Try out a new sport. Just move more. The more you move, the more calories you'll burn. The more muscles you add, the more you’ll benefit. Put it on your calendar at a time that will happen; for me that's first thing in the morning. Don't let other's needs come before your own (yes, moms and dads, I am talking to you!). Know this: getting fit, eating well, making your wellness a priority ends up with a better level of health, and that is the perfect reason to start any health program. In the beginning, you might start because you want to look better, and aesthetics are indeed important. But the main and best reason to stick with a program is because it will make – and keep – you healthier. Being healthy is the BEST reason to make changes, and one of the perks of being healthy is that you’ll look and feel great. Win win.

Set yourself up for success. Fill your cupboards with good-for-you foods that you like and want to eat. If it’s good for you but you don’t/won't eat it, you shouldn’t even buy it. There are so many excellent food choices out there; pick the ones you love and will eat and enjoy them. If you're not into quinoa, or chia or whatever the latest fad is, don't waste your money or your cupboard space. Seriously, even the most amazing uber superfood isn’t worth buying if you are not going to eat it. In another 3 to 6 months, they’ll discover another new amazing food thing, and maybe you’ll like that one. Still, don’t just automatically say no; I would recommend trying new foods, if you can, because you might happen across a new-to-you superfood or a new cooking method that you do love, and it will give you another option to enjoy.

Be realistic. Know that you’re not going to come out like a supermodel. Why not? Honestly, because most supermodels are actually genetic freaks (sorry!) who are not replicable, especially not by what you have going on in your gene pool (which is not to say you don't have some spectacular genes yourself). Just because you won’t end up looking like (enter-current-hot-model here) doesn’t mean you don’t look awesome. Keep it realistic, and know what you are working with. Also know that if you are 5'2" a pound on the scale is going to look very different on you than it might on a person who is 5'10". The numbers on the scale are not going to tell you 100% of the story, either. Don't worry about that, focus what is going on in your own pants. Literally. Focus on how you are feeling, how your clothes are fitting, and how you are getting stronger and more sure. You focus on you; let others worry about themselves.

Stop with the ‘shoulds’ already. If you should and you want to, you will. If you don't want to, but keep telling yourself you should, you are just giving yourself another reason to beat yourself up. Sigh, more guilt. That is just more emotional baggage that you just don't need. Again, guilt is not an effective motivator.

Listen. It’s not just you. It’s hard to make changes. And this doesn’t just apply to eating healthy. All of these things can be said about starting a fitness regimen, stopping smoking, making healthy habit changes. Not that being well is hard; it IS easy… once you get the ball rolling in the right direction. I’m probably not sounding very sympathetic and supportive, and believe me, that is not at all the case. Friends, I want you to succeed, and reach your goals. I want you to stop making excuses, and achieve what you want to achieve. If you’re continued excuses and moments of weakness are overly abundant, email me. Seriously. I am more than happy to give you 5 reasons why you should and can do this.

https://www.self.com/story/im-a-registered-dietitian-and-these-are-the-only-3-healthy-eating-rules-i-live-by

https://www.epicurious.com/expert-advice/why-i-let-my-kids-eat-dessert-every-night-article

https://medium.com/thrive-global/20-fitness-and-lifestyle-hacks-to-burn-fat-and-build-muscle-when-you-work-long-hours-2bb7dc2a1680

#excuses #exercise #eatinghealthy #takingcareofyou #goodexample

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Susie is certified through The Parent Coaching Institute, whose graduates are dedicated to help parents focus on "amplifying the positive, appreciating the good, and valuing the possible in themselves and in their children."  http://www.thepci.org/findcoach/ug/brown-susie-csorsz