There’s giving your kid the space and tools (proverbial and literal) to learn and grow and develop and then there is negligence by being not present enough o be aware of what is going on with your kids. There’s pushing your kid to grow past the point that they feel is ‘comfortable’ (read: ‘taking the easy road’, or ‘being lazy’, or ‘not reaching their full potential’, whichever description you like most) and then there is the Tiger parent who spends more time pushing than they do listening and hearing. There’s following the letter of the current parenting fad, swaying each time a new trend rears it’s head and then there is blindly plodding along, not seeing or swaying regardless of what seems to be working. Or not working, as the case may be.
What’s a parent to do? How do you know what is right and what is too much? Or too little?
Listen, friends. I think we’re complicating this parenting thing a bit too much. Stop trying to out-think your kids; just listen to your heart. It’s okay to give in sometimes. It’s okay to veg with your book on a weekend, and let the kids run around in their jammies playing legos. Parenting doesn’t have to be an all-out race all of the time. Sometimes, life just floats, and that is okay. What is most important is the conviction that you be present as you can. Guide, and step in, when necessary, sure, but the more you can step back and watch, the more they can learn for themselves. Be kind to yourself, too, and give your kids a good example to follow.
“Parents should move between trusting … and monitoring …, and balance high expectations with unconditional love….should be watchful and present, but not intrusive… should deal with their kids in a stable and calm manner, and not be anxious or angry.”