Be the sun

One day, the Wind and the Sun were having a debate over who was stronger. They agree to settle their argument by putting their strength to the test.

They see a man walking down the road wearing a large coat and agree that the first one to make the man take off his coat will be the winner.

The Wind begins to blow with all of his strength in an attempt to rip the coat off the man. The harder the Wind blew, the more the man seemed to cling on to his coat, burrowing himself in it further.

The Wind quickly grew tired of the effort and stopped to give the Sun a turn.

The Sun begins to shine its light upon the man in the coat. The light shines down on the man, who begins to feel the warmth and break into a sweat. Feeling increasingly warm, he takes off his coat to continue his walk in comfort.

The moral of the fable: Kindness, warmth, and gentle persuasion is often much more effective than strength and force.

A classic instance where this moral comes into play:

You cannot change someone through brute force. You cannot force your values or principles onto someone else and expect them to embrace them as their own. When you try to change someone by force, you act as the Wind.

Alternatively, you may change someone if you gently allow your values and principles to shine through in your daily actions and behaviors. When you shine your light into the world and allow that to have its impact, you act as the Sun.

This ties closely to the most impactful relationship advice I've heard:

Write down a list of all of the values and principles you want to find in another person, then go out and actually embody them yourself.

Always be the Sun.